In this issue:

Grammy Nim Ajji*

Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhh, ohh-oh-e-ohh-oh-oh
I’ll get him hot, show him what I’ve got
Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhh, ohh-oh-e-ohh-oh-oh,
I’ll get him hot, show him what I’ve got

Is that another musical epiphany like the one that made Rajeev pen the lyrics for Sold? Nope, says TAAQ’s drummer. Those are the lyrics for Poker Face, Lady Gaga’s Grammy nomination for Song of the Year. Songwriters: Germanotta, Stefani, Khayat, Nadir.

Impressive, eh? “I think Germanotta wrote ‘oh’, Stefani wrote ‘ohhhh’, Khayat wrote ‘ohh-oh-e-ohh-oh-oh’ and Nadir just stood there looking HAWTT!” he says.

*For the un-Bangalored: Nim Ajji, a mildly ribald term of endearment, is Kannada for ‘your granny’

Hot earth, cold feet

A magazine cover went: ‘Can we save this fragile Earth?’ Heck, it’s us who are fragile. Once we’ve all been expurgated in a cloud of greenhouse gas, good old Gaia will take a well-deserved few million years off and be ready to welcome other, maybe less ‘intelligent’ but more ‘aware’ species.

But then again, if there is one turning point in the history of mankind that screwed everything up, it’s the creation of the drum machine.

Jailhouse Crock

We learn that the shamed and now imprisoned boss of Satyam has asked for a few simple pleasures to make his incarceration worth the time. Buttermilk? Yes, said the guards. Guntur Chicken? Hmmm, ok. Gongura pickle? Ok, but only on Sundays. You can already see where this is leading, so why wouldn’t the prison authorities?
By the time he got to asking the management for what he really, really wanted (nope, not a Spice Girl), the authorities had enough. So when Raju wanted a laptop, they shook their heads. “There is a mouse in his prison cell, let him make do with that,” the warden was reported as saying (off the record, of course).

Tiger, Tiger burning out?

It is every cat’s prerogative to bring home something that disgusts the hell out of his folks. When you’re a big cat, that something has to be bigger and badder and smellier than most. But then again, not every cat has the privilege of driving (yeah, we know it’s a responsibility, not a privilege) a Cadillac Escalade. You should know, if you are Tiger Woods.

MORE?

TIMES OF NEED from Thermal And A Quarter – Vol 1 # 4 Nov-Dec 09

DOWNLOAD TIMES OF NEED-NOV-DEC 09-VOL 1 #4 [PDF]

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TIMES OF NEED – Vol 1 #3 – THERMAL AND A QUARTER
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In this issue:

How about a Nobel for Osama?

Never has an American president so loved by the world on his first day in office been so scorned the day he was anointed a Nobel laureate. The Nobel for Chemistry we understand, given that eternal People magazine cover story he has going with Michelle (left to us, we’d pick Sarkozy-Bruni). But the Nobel for Peace, for one who is still taking troops out of Iraq and pumping them into Afghanistan? Why not have him share the prize with Osama bin Laden?

If unhappy little bluebirds fly…

In which we ask: What is a former UN Under-Secretary doing with all that subsidised bandwidth? Or, is Shashi Tharoor a twit?

ALSO READ:

GUEST CALUMN(Y) – BY RAJEEV

“Being a Hindu I’m ashamed at how almost a billion Hindus decide to make a big noise and pollute our environment all together on the happy occasions of Diwali or Ganesha Chaturthi…”

PERSONAL FINANCE

Flooded with funds, but who’s pocketing them?
Is it just us being pessimistic, or does the Karnataka government’s largesse of Rs 9000 crore of flood relief from the Centre smell fishy?

CATFIGHT

Read the entire issue in our Yudu.com Library

Browse past issues in the TIMES OF NEED archive

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In this issue:
- Book a ticket to lasting fame – with Jaswant Singh
- The truth about MJ’s death – buried with his body
- Chandrayaan – Followed by a Moonshadow
- If the Sky is full of Rain

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TIMES OF NEED – VOL 1 #2 – THERMAL AND A QUARTER

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How about some real opinions from real opinion leaders, you ask?

We hear you.

Here’s a little-known fact: Apart from being sexy rock stars and amazingly gifted musicians with delusions, er, visions of world domination, we have astonishingly original and scathing insight into news. And we’re more than eager to spread our wisdom around to prevent you from being brainwashed by the channels. And we do it generously. You don’t even have to ask.

So, it’s time you turned off that glow-worm in your living room and listened to us for a change. This is the news that matters. This is the deep incisive opinion you will turn to, in times of need.

Introducing TIMES OF NEED, our fortnightly take on the news of the world, analysed by the minds that make the music that TAAQ plays. To keep it going, we need your informed feedback – don’t worry, you will be well informed by the time you read the first issue.

Sit back and part your hair to receive TIMES OF NEED – wisdom is usually prone to soft landings but don’t say we didn’t warn you.

TIMES OF NEED is published on Yudu. For a smooth and glitch-free viewing experience, you may want to download the latest versions of Mozilla Firefox, Microsoft Internet Explorer or Google Chrome from wherever they are available. Our attorney has advised us to relinquish all responsibility for the state of your computer and your brain after you read this publication.

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High up in the blogosphere, a certain journalist has taken exception to two parts of the song title: ‘Shut Up’ and ‘Vote’.

His first blog post, titled ‘On Dumb Editors… and Dumber Rockers’ accused TAAQ’s anthem of being ‘exceedingly stupid’. We popped in to say our bit. Over the last couple of days, the conversation did hot up and today, he has a fresh new post where he snipes at TAAQ again.

Sauvik Chakraverti writes:

TAAQ confessed to having composed their song “Shut Up And Vote” in response to a “brief.” In journalism, we call this a “command performance.” As I said, this song is not from the heart nor from the mind. It is just an ad jingle – and a rude one at that. It cannot work. You cannot compose a jingle that says “Shut Up And Drink Coca-Cola.”

Our response: You can (in a bottle or in a can). And lots of people are doing that. But we won’t. And not just because we like our cola with rum.

A command performance, indeed! You wish!

Let’s get this straight. The Jaago Re One Billion Votes campaign is a citizen initiative spearheaded by the voluntary organization Janaagraha along with Tata Tea. If we were singing this anthem for a particular political party, the blogger’s accusation would hold water (or cola, or whatever). But what’s dumb about speaking out along with like-minded, progressive citizens, and what’s dumb about persuading young people to participate in electing our leaders?

Now, Mr. Chakraverti comes across as a reasonably intelligent, articulate sort of chap but, like many of his kind that we know of, his views are clouded with pessimism and this, in our observation, is nothing new to this creed of non-participants. And that’s what we tried to remind him about.

Go to the coffee shops and watering holes and pot parlours of the world and you will find plenty of them – bottom-feeders that drink deep but taste not the spring of citizenship. What we have exhorted the youth to do through this song is participate in the electoral process, to exercise their  right as citizens. That, Mr. Chakraverti, is a necessary first step. Before crying foul, before finding fault with the system, or even before poking holes where none existed.

Through this song and through this series of concerts, we urge the youth: Do not stand back and submit to pessimism and inertia. Participate as citizens. Idle debate is no good unless you have exercised your right to bring in change. Ok, you know and we know that the system sucks. You know and we know that even this time round, we cannot do away with corruption. You know and we know that the usual suspects may share power again. But all of that said, your inertia is not a fitting response. It will take us nowhere and will only leave us more frustrated at the way things are.

We’ll write another song for the cynic and the pessimist and the non-voting beefburger (haven’t we, already?). When it’s time.

Until then, shut up and vote.

Et tu, Mr. Chakraverti!

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