Blog

Though Rudy passes himself off as an ordinary guy, with an ordinary life, the conspiracy theories have to make their presence felt.

First. Rudy is not a mal. How come? Well I heard Rajeev say it for one. The other is have you ever ever heard of a mal called Rudy? Mals generally take any 2 sounds and put them together. Now Rudy would fit this criteria beautifully BUT… there is no one else called Rudy. Do you know a mal called Rudy. NO. Even Titichayan’s wife tatama kochamma wouldn’t know a Rudy in her nagaram (which means town. naragam on the other hand means hell which actually are never too far from each other).

Despite this he speaks perfect malayalam. He claims he was born there. But he is not a mal. So… what is he?

Theory 1

Rudy is from Mars

This astonishing theory actually gains credence once you’ve spotted Rudy’s red hair which is never allowed to grow. But he is actually quite vocal about it. Red hair from the red planet. Obviously his wife would rather not have everyone know she’s married a martian so hence the ban on the beard. But Rudy has that longing for his roots in a follicle sense of course. So Rudy landed up from Mars in Kerala. Why? Simbly.

Theory 2
Rudy has some European roots. But that’s too boring. So on to the next theory.

Theory 3

E=mc2

Theory 4

Rudy is actually a vampire. So actually he is about 500 years old and came to the Kerala shores with old Vasco da Gama. Haven’t heard of a Portuguese vampire? Try Rudy. If you ask Rudy ‘Queres beber um pouco sangue?’ He would hesitate a moment. Also check out an unreleased picture of him with his teeth glinting. However one must reiterate that this is a pro vegetarian vampire. What lovely bloody music he makes!

Theory 5
Rudy is John Lennon

John Lennon’s shooting was a silly urban myth. However as the myth started spreading the marketing dudes who were getting tired of Lennon decided they would milk it for all its worth. So with a neat bit of chloroform they parcelled Lennon (Rudy) away for a few months. They got the whole world to cry about him and released him from his house arrest. Obviously no one believed that he was Lennon. He was dead after all.

So Rudy Lennon decided that the next best thing to do was to land up in Kerala. Having visited India before it was a doddle to settle in the land of the mal. A few days of sun got the skin sorted. Learning the language was made simple by the Boney M loving restaurant owner. How? Rudy Lennon would say ‘RA RA Rasputin’ and he would get some appam and stew. And so with the consistent usage of Boney M songs the language issue was solved.

Then came the musical issue… ah well we know how that worked out. He joined some zany band… unknown to most….